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logogen 05:43:51::16:07:2010 --

[memoryissues,standby]
Hah.

That's about all you can say; mutter it to yourself, mask it in the flick of a lighter, the pull of smoke through your lips.

I make the noise, do the rituals. None of that has any bearing, none of it offers me ease. Instead, I wearily spin a coin around my fingertip. Stop it on a head, slide it across to join the others and buy another drink. Lager, cold enough that I can watch flies die in the condensation in frozen bliss. Cold enough that I can wipe it clear.

A smile cracks my lips, too dry but for alcohol. Sometimes life can reflect itself in strange ways - you know, better than anyone. Right?

Sometimes, life can reflect itself. Like the face you see most days can seem behind a bubble, superimposed with all the memories and associations of years gone past. That's a bubble you want to keep intact, but the sensible part of your body tells you, needs you to drop that weight or carry it; each as needs go by.

But why carry it, I reason? Sometimes it feels good to punish yourself. To carry the weight and responsiblity for times gone by solely on yourself; blame, hurt, pain. All the good parts. Yeah, sometimes it does.

Sometimes you just have to set it on fire, and watch the flames go up into the stars. Feel whatever you will, instead. Relief, redemption, atonement.

The part that makes me smile is that sometimes I'm not sure which I'm more deserving of.

Then I watch the flames and look through to the other side.

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start -- flow free

flow -- split words, split phrases; breathe; creation_defined; 15% explanation here; you can; i'll do the cross thing; new world order; laugh anew; tears streaming down your face; and that's the way the world ends, i guess; not with a whimper, not with a bang, just nothing; entertainment in flow; animosity; anathema; random words, together making poetry; or nothingness; what was first becomes last, forges new links, takes new meaning; means nothing in the end; shitting bats; ignorance is bliss, as i'll say again; feel the pain, the lack of pain, the analgesic; emptiness; disbelief; solo; peaking; drown; dream; joy is all there is; need it; here; meat; reversed order; nonsensical; no order; good at that; onward tomorrow; exeunt; while(1) { die(); }; exhale; and they have no meaning; back(again); r-o-ll-ll-ll-ll-ll with it; you make this all go away; you make this all go away; fading fucking reminder; tell me; change of music, musician; lyrical flow, different to this; muse; think on that; scenting from below; approaching meal; painful seat; need to drink, feed fight fuck; see me; i'm you; you're me; i express what you cannot; deal with it, kid; read this in order; slay; sense of loss; distance; depression; 5% dog; psychomindfuck; and laugh as realisation comes; believe in the nonexistant; live; live; cacacacacacacacaphony; mental outpourings; like liquid, like the beer next to me; sewerage, a torrent; vile, useless fucking thoughts; hidden gems; boredom, keeping track, things that must be remembered lest they be abandoned; need; let me help you hold the gun against your head; belief; hard chair; pain, anguish, uncertainty; razorblade smile; sixteen miles to go, seventeen, and in reverse we find ourselves; and typing nothing, meaning nothing, just words; find the wisdom; and flow; flow; flow with thought during the day; at night; at random times, drunk, sober; altered, sane; broken, fixed; flowing thoughts; liquid dreams; the usual; pint please; heart/mind/body/soul; smile; breathe; feelgood factor (increase); flow; live; and there's the rub; time to flow; and you know you want it; continuation; false architecture; false art; tilt your head back; open your mouth wide; fill your lungs; this is a maxim for life; mess; all over; lack of floor; believe that this is your life; know it is; smile; need an easier way to add; must write; yet cannot, easier way to create a muse, find my muse; someone to whisper in my ear in the darkness, informative; scour the electronic wilderness for inspiration, find only vapid, useless talk; unenlightened masses, useless to believe; useless to behold; swaying popular opinion by being herded like cattle; fuck me; stupidity should be punishable by death; taxi drivers that drive like lunatics; crutches, clicking; queues; herds; swarms; collective mentality of a kleptomanic two year old twin; make your own sense of our words; end it all; can you evolve; live again; live; as on television; as on radio; seperate the users from the whores; brush of lips on eyelids; attempt/no/tempt/work/fail; chase me; swallow me; feel me; 100% recycled fibres, 20% post consumer content; fibrees recyclees 100%, 20% post aus; ignorance is bliss, it's not snowing; it was raining; there isn't enough space; cramped; fighting for supremacy; damp smell; boredom; bite; always; bury me in hatred; just words, and they appear; stop; reflow; redesign the organised; cut; drink; chew; hunger; time to leave; note to self; update, avante; lead us not into; break++; here; there; music gone; deliverance; depart; breathe; broken; now be fixed; despise; dance with me; dance, bitch; dance; new message; read; view; reply; send; for living; spit; spit; spit; no; feel mistaken; terrible drunken state; laugh as you cry; watch the babble; corpse; split things down enough; bitten by a snake; boredom prevails; as ever; horror; 55 and this is it; remember the start; lunch++; waiting more than two weeks; annoyance felt; snarl; burn in hell; international security; count; counter; working; time wasting; break--; less than 1% easy; paint yourself; hatred like a river; dye; dye; die; 14325324534; rwar; what do we care; sleep; dormire; required; invitation; homoerotic stud; homereactor stop; so pure; so rare; the sum of collected memories, abstract thought processes, random electrical impulses. god's will, pure chance, pure thought; whatever. we are what we are, each and every one of us the same; shells for life, movement, feeding, fighting, fucking, animalia. touch upon this, sit back, think; brood. explore, travel, return; brood. realise that you don't matter in the scheme of things; self esteem subtracted, useless. become self aware; realistic goals, don't conform. why conform? outside pressure, moving in upon you. laziness; gone; random; stream of consciousness; flow; enjoy it whilst it lasts; buried; 5% feed us; self esteem; revise; saturday sunday monday die; anti-animosity; welcome to the new reality; unto more; and wings unfurl; (x); evolution; deception_always; and noise to nothingness; we care, oh we care; convey that; burn; meaning; life; love; depression, again; anew; ...

start -- flow free

ikke Andy Millar er00 Millar

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